In This Family

TV’s Paul Scheer Never Fought With His Girlfriend. That Was a Red Flag.

Content Warning: This episode discusses childhood trauma, emotional abuse and physical abuse.Paul Scheer is known to audiences as an actor, a regular on the series The League and Black Monday, and in recurring roles on Fresh Off the Boat, Veep, and 30 Rock. Recently, Paul has been digging deep into his past to understand what happened during his childhood with an abusive stepfather (who demanded Paul call him “Dad” and locked him out of the house in his underwear when Paul refused) and how that had an impact on Paul later in life. In this moving interview, Paul talks about realizing later in life that he had never once had any kind of argument with his then-girlfriend, never expressed anger, and how a therapist pointed out that this may be a sign of unresolved trauma from the hellish conditions he lived in. Paul talks about learning more about this with his wife, how he sees trauma as an event and not a life sentence, and what he has and has not told his young children about so far. 

Joel Kim Booster’s Parents Found His Diary And Everything Blew Apart

Content Warning: This episode discusses bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts and self harm.
Actor and writer Joel Kim Booster (K-Pop Demon Hunters, Loot, Fire Island) had a difficult time with the parents that raised him. They were very religious, deeply conservative, didn’t believe in psychiatric medication or a secular approach to therapy, and they home-schooled Joel until he was 16. Joel, adopted from Korea, came to find out that he was gay, a fact his parents discovered by reading his journal during his senior year of high school, and he had been dealing with mental health problems that would later be diagnosed as bipolar disorder, type II. The result was Joel leaving home at 17, moving in with a friend’s family who welcomed and accepted him as he was, and charting a course of self-reliance. Over time, Joel established a reconciliation with his parents in a way where everyone respected boundaries and differences. And he accepted all that came with his bipolar disorder, in terms of medication management, personality tendencies, and taking care of himself. Joel, who was recently married, shares honest, wise, and often funny insight on his life and journey.

Frank Cobbe and His Mom Team Up to Unlock Both of Their Mental Health Mysteries

Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual abuse, bipolar II disorder, hypomania, autism, and psychosis. 
Frank is only 22 years old, still in college, but he has come a very long way in figuring out his mental health and has already done a lot of work in helping other people. A diagnosis of bipolar disorder, type II, and some intense education on the matter helped him understand why he had been prone to hypomanic episodes. It was during one of these episodes when Frank developed psychosis, believing he was actually a character he had seen on television, which might not make sense to some people but makes perfect sense when you’re in that state. With love and care and patience, Frank’s mom guided him to some treatment and toward some answers, including the discovery that he was on the autism spectrum. That discovery led his mom to understand that she was on the spectrum too.  
Frank Cobbe is an ambassador for the NAMI Next Gen program. NAMI Next Gen is the young adult advisory group for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), composed of 12 young leaders working to improve youth and young adult mental health across the country. 
Frank Cobbe on Instagram.  

Kris Jamieson Was Unclear On Her Own Identity But Very Clear On Her Mom's

Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual violence, racism, depression and anxiety.
As a kid, it made sense to Kris that she was adopted. She was the only person of color in her immediate family and the people of color she encountered in her community and school were very few and far between. Facing racism and the n-word early on also let her know that she was very different. Finally, during college, Kris learned the identity of the person who gave birth to her and put her up for adoption. The meeting was enlightening but expectations didn't match up as this person wanted to have a full relationship, have Kris meet people she said were Kris's relatives, and wanted to walk Kris down the aisle when she got married. No, said Kris. I have a mom and she's the person who raised me. Later, Kris had a falling out with her sister from her adopted family, who cut off contact. That was a heavy blow and although she now says it was the best thing that could have happened. All these experiences of who she was, being a person of color in an overwhelmingly white environment, and the separation with her sister have led to a profound depression and anxiety that she has to manage every day. That fragile mental health experience was exacerbated by recent ICE activity in Minnesota, where Kris lives, which has made it impossible for Kris to even go visit her mother. It's an enlightening conversation about complicated families and pasts and the impact of those on mental health.

Ka Vang on War in Southeast Asia, ICE in Minnesota, and Mental Health Echoes

Content Warning: This episode discusses violence, murder, rape and generational trauma. 
Newspaper columnist and community business leader Ka Vang was born on a CIA base in Thailand 50 years ago. She remembers eating from the garbage when there was no food to be had, witnessing rape and murder, and fleeing with her family to the United States after the Vietnam War and the Secret War. Ka is Hmong-American, part of a large community of people who aided the American effort and were relocated, largely to Minnesota. The trauma of the war and displacement had severe mental health effects on Ka’s family, including depression, anxiety, and hypervigilance. Today, the Twin Cities region is seeing tremendous upheaval due to the ICE surge, which has seen thousands of people arrested, sent to detention facilities, and deported, even people who have a legal right to be in the United States. Ka says Hmong people who lived through the war in Asia are terrified and having flashbacks. Their children, having had trauma handed down, are rehearsing best practices for staying safe. And as for Ka, she doesn’t feel like an American amid the ICE presence and feels more a matter of when rather than if she’ll get taken. 

Tracey Yokas on Helping Your Child While Making Sense of Your Own Childhood

Content Warning: This episode discusses grief, eating disorders, and self-harm.
When author and artist Tracey Yokas lost her mother, which happened only a few months after her dad died, Tracey was devastated, as was Tracey’s eighth grade daughter, Faith. But things quickly got more complicated as Faith’s grief evolved into a severe eating disorder and acts of self-harm. Soon, Tracey was navigating a very difficult process of trying to help Faith get better while suffering real challenges to her own mental health and the stability of her marriage. Faith did eventually get better, she’s grown now and doing well, and in writing about this period in her book, Bloodlines: A Memoir of Harm and Healing, Tracey found that some of Faith’s problems stemmed from issues Tracey had growing up as well. She examined the traumas of her youth, the relationship to food, the habits that her parents had likely handed down from their own families. It’s an intriguing discussion of mental health, what we can and cannot control, and the long road to healing.

Generational Trauma, Hypervigilance, and Moving Forward with Ophira Eisenberg

Content Warning: This episode discusses anxiety and generational trauma. 
New York based comedian, podcast host, and writer Ophira Eisenberg grew up in Calgary, the sixth child of parents who had survived traumatic experiences in World War 2 and wars in the Middle East. Their difficulty in addressing those traumas led to extreme anxiety, anger issues, and the creation of a family where trauma-related mental health conditions were passed down. For Ophira, who fled home as soon as she could, that has manifest in bouts of fury over a glove in a grocery store, extreme and constant worry over her own child’s safety, and a conscious effort to learn how to confront difficult things head on, despite how uncomfortable they may be. She’s also thankful to her mother in particular for teaching her the value of moving forward anyway, no matter how much events of the past try to drag you down. Ophira Eisenberg hosts the podcast Parenting is a Joke, tells stories with The Moth, and performs as a standup comic.

Jason Tougaw on Finding Your Own Mental Stability When Your Family Didn’t Provide it

Content Warning: This episode mentions domestic abuse, substance abuse and suicide. 
Acclaimed writer and university professor Jason Tougaw has a very serene life now as an adult. He’s married, living in New York, and although he says he works too much, he finds time to reflect on a childhood that was much more chaotic. Jason’s family passed around a belief that something was wrong with their blood, which they cited to explain generations of eccentric and destructive behavior as well as chronic instability. As a kid, Jason lived in a school bus, lived with an abusive stepfather, lived with his grandmother for stretches of time, and tried to make sense of his homosexuality in an era where being gay definitely did not feel okay. But Jason paid attention to habits and ways of living that he didn’t wish to replicate, paths that could lead him to a better life, and to the healing power of New Wave music. It’s a fascinating conversation for anyone who has ever felt that their family of origin was their destiny and anyone who wanted to break patterns.

NPR’s Peter Sagal On Breaking Cycles and Learning From His Past

Content Warning: This episode discusses anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia.
 
On the radio as the witty host of NPR’s Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me, Peter Sagal projects an upbeat and fun personality. But, as he shares with host Dr. Michelle K. Murray, it hasn’t always been that way. From being an anxious and depressed kid with undiagnosed ADHD to a downward spiral following the end of his first marriage, Peter struggled with mental health issues he never fully acknowledged or understood. When he did start to connect the dots and seek help, Peter was able to connect with his father and learn illuminating chapters and family history. And when he married again and began raising a second family, he was able to put an end to some of his own habits and some less than healthy inherited habits. It’s a side of Peter Sagal you probably haven’t heard before and you’ll be glad you listened.

A Helpful Message During Difficult Times

In This Family’s second season is just around the corner, coming to you on January 28th with a brand new set of moving and illuminating conversations about family and mental health. In the meantime, communities around the country are experiencing civil unrest in places like Minneapolis, where Nexus Family Healing is based, Portland, and many other cities. Host Dr. Michelle K. Murray offers some practical advice on taking care of yourself and your loved ones during these tumultuous events, including how to make a plan with your family and establishing rules and boundaries for activism and media consumption. We can’t make these challenges go away but we can offer you some guidance and ideas to take good care of your mind and family. 
 
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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