In This Family

Dessa on the Importance of Taking Care of Family, Body, Mind, and Curiosity

Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, mood disorders, and suicide. 
Long before she was an acclaimed rapper, singer, and author, Dessa was a scared adolescent, facing big feelings that she didn’t know what to do with and running away from home. She eventually found peace with her parents and returned to them and the younger brother who needed her and loved her very much. Dessa tells us how family support and a curiosity about health and medicine have served her well, including when as a young adult she checked into an in-patient facility and received a diagnosis of cyclothymia, which she describes as a sort of “low-carb bipolar disorder”. She fills us in on how she’s managed that, how her family of origin has continued to lean on each other for support, and how she’s bringing her wisdom to a new relationship. 

Bill Corbett on Anxiety, Being a Son, Being a Dad, and How He’s Breaking Cycles

Content Warning: This episode discusses anxiety, addiction and suicide. 
Fans of the beloved cult TV hit Mystery Science Theater 3000 have enjoyed many laughs from actor and writer Bill Corbett, who played the acerbic robot Crow on the show. Bill’s off-screen life hasn’t always been quite so hilarious. In this candid interview, he talks about growing up in an era where mental health was never discussed, even though his father had all the hallmarks of an anxiety problem and there were massive alcohol problems on his mom’s side. Bill inherited both, thumbing through self-help books at age 14, desperate to shake off an anxiety that would hold on for decades. He shares the story of having a breakdown in New York City, convinced that earthquakes were imminent. He also tells of his heavy use of alcohol and cocaine and his path to a conscientious sobriety. And Bill discusses how he’s raising his own kids, meeting their mental health issues with openness and transparency and love. 

Clancy Martin Unlocked the Secret of How Not to Kill Himself

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide, depression and schizophrenia.
Families can be loving, they can be problematic, and, above all, they can be complicated. Author and professor Clancy Martin’s family of origin was very complicated indeed, featuring a dashing, charismatic father who founded his own religion and also dealt with schizophrenia. The family was also faced with suicidality, including Clancy’s own wish to die at age three and multiple suicide attempts spanning most of his life. He tells host Dr. Michelle K. Murray about what a lifetime of trying to die feels like, about his own complex family, which features five children over the course of three marriages, and how just in the last few years he has managed to finally lose that urge to make the worst decision one can make. Talking about frightening mental health topics, as he did in his memoir, How Not To Kill Yourself, led him to not just shake that feeling but also led to helping others who are in danger, which helped Clancy even more. It’s an eye-opening episode, an episode that lets in a lot of sunlight, featuring a guest who once saw only darkness.

Dr. Michelle K. Murray on Managing the Anxiety and Stress of Holiday Gatherings

Family gatherings during the holidays are a time of connection and joy. They can also be a cause of anxiety or lead to triggering situations. 
In this special holiday episode of In This Family, Dr. Michelle K. Murray provides practical tips on thriving or maybe just surviving family events. She reminds us that we always have a choice on how we show up, if we show up, and when we leave. And how goals, boundaries, and a little preparation can create that holiday experience we desire. 

Sarah LaBrie’s Mom Had Severe Mental Illness So Sarah Had to Figure Out Her Past and Her Future

Content Warning: This episode discusses borderline personality disorder, delusions, psychosis and schizophrenia.
Sarah was having an ordinary day in her life as a writer living in Los Angeles when her phone rang. Her grandmother explained that Sarah’s mom had been picked up ranting and raving on the side of the freeway in Houston, where Sarah grew up. It was a shock but not a surprise for Sarah, who had already lived with her mother’s psychosis, schizophrenia, delusions for as long as she could remember, the occurrences getting more frequent as time went on. Fortunately, Sarah had wonderful loving care from her grandmother and her aunt who provided support and strategies for what Sarah was going through. Sarah, the author of the memoir No One Gets to Fall Apart, talks about conflicts with her mom from childhood through to Sarah’s successful career and marriage as an adult. She also shares how really studying and exploring the situation has helped her make connections between traumatic events and the ways both she and her mother shaped their lives as a result of that trauma. In the interview, Sarah mentions the book Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship, which she found very helpful.

Comedian Maria Bamford Loved Her Parents, Learned From Them, Makes Fun of Them

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide, anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and bipolar disorder. 
Maria Bamford’s parents, Joel and Marilyn, were not part of a generation that knew all the terminology and awareness of mental health that we have today. They couldn’t even identify their own difficulties as being indicative of mental health conditions. But they did try everything they could think of to help their daughter as she struggled through the years with intrusive thoughts, bipolar disorder type II, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Joel and Marilyn are no longer with us but Maria, now a renowned comedian, actor, and best-selling author, remembers them fondly for the effort they put in, the love they demonstrated, and the values they taught her having to do with building community, helping out your fellow human beings, and adapting a worldview when new information becomes available. Her folks were even good sports about Maria persistently including impressions of them in her standup work. Maria Bamford joins host Dr. Michelle K. Murray for an honest, funny, and loving look at how mental health worked in her family and what she’s carried on after they’ve gone.

Breaking the Silence on Mental Health While Keeping Cultural Identity with Vivien Lee

Content Warning: This episode discusses Depression, Anxiety, Rape, Sexual Assault, and Suicidal Ideation. 
Vivien Lee recalls the first inklings of an existential crisis when she was eight years old, a feeling she would eventually connect with depression. As she grew older, Vivien endured severe trauma, threatening her mental health even further. For Vivien, the oldest of several children in a family that was part of Minnesota’s Hmong community, there was nowhere to go to talk about her distress. According to Vivien, mental health was not something that was discussed in her family. She felt that disclosing anything to her parents would be a form of “talking back” and she feared punishment for that. For all of us, the environment a person is raised in, their culture, history, traditions, can all impact one’s wellbeing, sometimes through generations. As an adult, who recently earned a Master’s Degree in marriage and family therapy, Vivien has worked hard to preserve her Hmong identity for herself and her kids while also establishing an openness and honesty that eluded her as a kid.
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Sexual Abuse
Help And Healing Hotline
What Are the Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
National Center for PTSD: Child Sexual Abuse
Culture and Mental Health
Social, cultural, and other diversity issues in the traumatic stress field
Culture and Trauma
The Influence of Culture and Society on Mental Health

Gender Identity and Mental Health in the Family with Aaron and Asher

Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and gender dysphoria.
This week, our ongoing conversation about families and mental health turns to the family of our host, Dr. Michelle K. Murray, President and CEO of Nexus Family Healing. She welcomes her brother Aaron and nephew Asher for an enlightening talk about Asher’s journey. Having dealt with clinical depression, anxiety issues, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for much of his young life, Asher discovered that some of his difficulties arose from another problem: gender dysphoria. That’s a feeling of distress when the gender one identifies with is different than the one they were assigned at birth. Asher talks about realizing that he was transgender and his dad, Aaron, discusses the ways he and Asher’s mom stepped up to support him and help him find the more peaceful and contented place he is in today.
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
The Trevor Project
Trans Youth Equality - For Parents
Transgender Children and Youth: Understanding the Basics
Parents of Trans Youth

Ana Marie Cox on Alcohol and Having to Become Your Parent’s Parent

Content Warning: This episode discusses substance abuse, addiction and suicide.
Long before she became a successful journalist, political pundit, and podcaster, Ana Marie Cox was doing her best to navigate some tough times. The family was constantly moving, which, combined with being an only child, made it hard to make and keep friends and get the peer support kids need. Ana needed even more support when her parents divorced and Ana was thrust into the role of being a parent for both herself and her alcoholic mom. When Ana went to live with her dad as a teenager, her mom was heart-broken, furious, and never stopped telling Ana about those feelings until she died of cirrhosis of the liver. Meanwhile, Ana began drinking herself at age 13, a habit that would lead to alcoholism, a life that fell apart, and ultimately rehab, sobriety, and a new lease on life. Ana tells host Dr. Michelle K. Murray about the steps she has taken to make sense of her past so she can thrive in the present and future.
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Learn more about parentification and its impact on family systems:
Parentification: Signs and Symptoms of a Parentified Child
Explore more about ketamine-assisted therapy and its considerations:
A New Patient's Guide to Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy
Ketamine Infusion Therapy Treatment Considerations

Moon Zappa Found Peaceful Mental Health After a Childhood of Chaos

Content Warning: this episode discusses self-harm, anxiety and grief.
Author and artist Moon Zappa became famous at age 14, doing a guest vocal on the hit song “Valley Girl” by her dad, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame musician Frank Zappa. It’s a fun song, what isn’t so fun is that the song came about from Moon’s desperate attempt to get some kind of attention and approval from her dad in what she says was a chaotic household. In this wide ranging interview, Moon talks about a mother prone to fits of rage, a father gone nine months out of the year and checked out when he was there, and a childhood of self-harm and desperate people pleasing. She also explains how as an adult she got some good therapy, learned to identify the root causes of her suffering, and gain a deep understanding not just of the events of a traumatic upbringing but how to grow and even thrive. Her memoir, Earth to Moon, is highly recommended by host Dr. Michelle K. Murray, President and CEO of Nexus Family Healing.