In This Family

Content Warning: This episode discusses death, cancer, anorexia, hospitalization, and grief.
University of Texas professor and author Mallary Tenore Tarpley’s mom died of breast cancer when Mallary was just eleven years old. Mallary’s health class taught her that our bodies are affected by what we eat so Mallary decided to simply stop eating. That way, went her reasoning, she would stay small, preserved the way she was before her mom died. Her anorexia resulted in years of treatments and hospitalizations, and while there was recovery there were also slips and setbacks. Eventually, through the work she had done in the journalism field, Mallary came to believe that our society needs to see these moments as part of healing and not as signs of failure. Also, that we need to pay attention not just to an illness’s onset or some elusive notion of a completed recovery but to the middle section of getting better. If we understand that messy middle, we can forgive ourselves and others and have better health. This is a moving and heartfelt talk about Mallary’s life and an episode full of good, practical advice on helping yourself and others.

Content Warning: This episode discusses postpartum depression.
Canadian graphic memoirist Teresa Wong has had experiences with parenting that didn’t really match the way things usually go. Her parents were city kids in China sent to work on rural communes during Mao’s cultural revolution. They escaped, swam to Hong Kong where they met, and ended up in Calgary, where Teresa and her brother were born. But a language barrier and their own experiences without fathers present meant that little to no nurturing took place. Teresa's father never attended her high school or college graduations, never thought to go to the launch parties for her acclaimed graphic memoirs, Dear Scarlet and All Our Ordinary Stories. When Teresa had her first baby, Scarlet, she experienced postpartum depression, which she was unprepared for. In both cases, the subjects of her two books, Teresa was left to figure out how to parent herself and others. Now she’s ready to share how she handled that and the lessons she learned.

Content Warning: This episode discusses obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
It might be unexpected for someone to be both an atheist and a professor of religion but that seeming contradiction makes perfect sense for Chris Stedman, best selling author and professor at Augsburg University in Minneapolis. Chris is the author of the book Faithiest, which, like so much of the work he’s done over the years, is about connecting communities of faith with atheists. That work, along with Chris’s story of joining and leaving fundamentalist Christianity amid his parents’ separation, is indicative of the search for order that Chris has been on his whole life. Chris deals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and has from an early age, which he says is very much connected to trying to understand and manage an overwhelming world. Chris joins us to talk about his mom’s kindness in finding him a therapist and a church that was accepting of his queer identity. He also tells us how the OCD never really went away, just transformed, and there’s a lot to manage now that he just got married. 

Content Warning: This episode discusses Bipolar Disorder (BPD), Manic Depressive Disorder, and hospitalization.
Eighteen-year-old skateboarding star Billy Rohan had been pulled over and decided the best way to demonstrate that he was sober and under control was to do a backflip off a car. The cop on the scene did not see this as a good sign and Billy ended up in a hospital for psychiatric treatment. His erratic behavior of manic highs and depressive lows ultimately resulted in a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. The episodes weren’t constant but they dogged him throughout his storied skateboarding career, derailing him into out of control periods. With the help of a tight-knit skateboard community, careful reading of his medication labels, and patient support from his sisters, Billy ultimately steered himself toward a more balanced life. Now he can spot the bipolar symptoms (his fiancee compares it to turning into the Hulk) and take steps to avoid danger. 

Content Warning: This episode discusses addiction, suicide, grief, child abuse, and neglect.
Long before Daria Burke was a high-powered marketing executive with major brands, before she was the best-selling author of her memoir Of My Own Making, Daria was a kid living a rough life in Detroit. Her mother had severe drug addiction issues and was abusive to Daria and her sister and their dad wasn’t around, dealing with drug issues of his own. Daria’s home often lacked heat, electricity, and running water and Daria, at a very young age, was taking the bus to the grocery store and shoplifting bags full of food in order to eat. Eventually, Daria graduated from college at 20 years old and went on to get an MBA at NYU. But her parents weren’t at the graduation because Daria cut them both out of her life long ago. She says that if her parents were willing to take an honest look at the years of abuse and neglect, that could be the groundwork to more of a relationship. But that hasn’t happened and she doesn’t expect it to.

Content Warning: This episode discusses grief, loss, suicide, and bipolar disorder. 
As a kid, Marisa Renee Lee, author of the best-selling books, Grief is Love: Living with Loss and Waiting for Dawn: Living with Uncertainty, sat in the front row in class. She was driven to achieve, got straight A’s, and worked hard. Then Marisa’s mom got sick with multiple sclerosis and that, combined with her sister’s bipolar disorder, meant taking on the very stressful role of caregiver at age 13. She ended up at Harvard, traveling between campus and the family home in upstate New York to provide care. After her mom died, when Marisa was 26, she experienced the full weight of grief and carried that with her through work on Wall Street and as an adviser to President Obama. Later, Marisa and her husband had a long struggle with fertility and Marisa contracted long covid, which she still must manage today. Mere determination can’t fix these situations and denial, of course, is no help either. Marisa explains the lessons of grief and uncertainty and of giving yourself grace and patience. 

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide, depression, and substance use disorder. 
Behind the scenes at In This Family, is our program’s producer, John Moe. Outside of the show, John hosts his own mental health podcast, Depresh Mode with John Moe, and is the author of the best-selling memoir, The Hilarious World of Depression. John shares his earliest experiences with major depressive disorder, years before he understood that this condition was actually very common and had a name. Mental health wasn’t talked about much in the culture in general when John was growing up or in his household in particular, where John connects his late father’s substance use disorder with alcohol to a traumatic childhood, spent under Nazi occupation in Norway. John also talks about the still echoing effects of his older brother’s death by suicide and the approach he takes to the subject of mental health with his own children.

Content Warning: This episode discusses racism, depression, and sexual abuse.
At a young age, author Maud Newton was warned by her grandmother about the mental illness that ran through her family history. She was also told wild stories: an ancestor tried for being a witch, a Marxist in 1900s Texas, a grandfather married 13 times. The stories she uncovered in her best-selling book Ancestor Trouble shed some light on those tales and revealed plenty of complexity and surprises. Meanwhile, Maud has had to deal with her own mental health problems as well as issues among the living: a virulently racist and authoritarian father, a stepfather who molested her, and a mother who persistently looked the other way. She has found a loving and supportive family later in life with a loving husband, his extended family, and a step-sister and step-daughter to whom she is extremely close. It’s a testimony to the power of looking for answers, understanding your roots, and knowing yourself.

Content Warning: This episode discusses violence, rape, and hate crimes. Long before he won the Kirkus and Pushcart Prizes for his memoir writing, before he started teaching creative writing at Harvard Medical School and hosting the popular podcast Vibe Check, Saeed Jones was a kid growing up in Texas and realizing he was different than most people around him. He was raised Buddhist, for one thing, and when the other boys were lusting after a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, Saeed just thought she looked nice. His mom loved him very much and was pretty progressive but really struggled to accept that part of him, leaving Saeed pretty much alone to understand his identity and chart his own course. Which he did.

Content Warning: This episode discusses homelessness, child abuse, neglect, and sexual assault.
David Ambroz does not remember a time before being homeless with his mom and two siblings in New York City, cobbling together sleeps in train stations and emergency room lobbies, grabbing pizza crusts out of trash cans. It was an exciting life but not an easy one, especially given his mother’s schizoaffective disorder and physically abusive behavior. Eventually, he helped get himself and his siblings into foster care, which was often traumatic and abusive as well, especially when the state diagnosed his homosexuality as a disorder and tried to cure it. David learned from all of it, became resourceful, worked hard to make a better life for himself and even forgive his mother. Today, David is the author of the memoir A Place Called Home, a top executive at Amazon, recognized as an American Champion of Change by President Obama, a father, and a tireless advocate for kids in the foster care system.